The Healing Begins

The sun setting on Thanksgiving Day.

Thanksgiving was a day I had mixed feelings about.  I was happy to be sharing the day with all of my brothers, my dad, some of my nieces and nephews and my husband.  I was not happy that my mom would not be a part of the day and that my kids were with their dad this year for the holiday.  It has been a very long time since all of us have been together for a holiday.  My dad had already told me he was going to be depending on me to help get him through the day. Robby and I left our house early Thanksgiving morning to drive to Williamsburg, about 3 1/2 hours from our house.  I wanted to stop by the cemetery in Richmond to place a fall wreath on my mom's marker on our way to my brother's.  The name plate has not been finished yet, so her marker is empty and seems so plain.  Robby and I had bought a ladder the night before so that I would be able to reach up to her spot.  She is buried in a Mausoleum, so it's not like I can put anything on the ground around her grave site.  I spent some time talking to her and telling her our plans for the day.  I told her how much I wished you could be with us, because I know how happy she would have been to see all of us together again. 


Mom hated artificial flowers, but I have no choice since I don't live close enough to
switch the wreath out every week or so.  Sorry Mama.

 Once we arrived in Williamsburg, I started to feel better about the day.  Being around family and having something to focus on, really helps me.  My sister-in-law Viv had already made most of the meal for Thanksgiving.  She had some of my mom's recipes and she did an amazing job cooking everything.  I only had to make the sweet potatoes which were one of my dad's favorite recipes of my mom's for the holidays.  Only problem was, I could not find her recipe anywhere.  So I asked dad what he remembered the most about them and I began searching recipes to try and find a recipe similar to hers.  I ended up with 3 different recipes that I combined together and actually ended up with something everyone liked.

My two sister-in-laws and me about to get busy in the kitchen.

 The day was beautiful and the temperature perfect.  My brother lives on the river and so it was a perfect day to be outside.  My dad was so happy.  It was the first time he had been to my brother's house since he moved.  I knew my dad would love it.  He and my brothers and Robby all walked down to the river together and Danny was so proud to show dad his home and his property.  My dad in return was really proud of all my brother has accomplished with his life.  It was so bittersweet though because my mom never got to see any of this and I know in my heart, she would have loved it and been so proud too.  I like to think my mom was there on Thanksgiving, she was the sun shining down on the river.



Beautiful view from my brother's deck.



Daddy looking out over the water.  Can only imagine what he was thinking.




Daddy and his guys walking back up from the "beach."

Viv had the dining room set up beautifully.  I LOVE her dining room.  Her taste in decorating is to die for.  She has such a great style and is able to make everything look so special and one of a kind.  Just like her jewelry she makes.  I would eat every meal in this room if I could.


This was the "adults"table.



Those chandeliers needed to come home with me.

Throughout the day, we spoke of mom and how she made Thanksgiving look so easy.  We never saw all the work she went through to put amazing meals on the table.  And when I was in the middle of making my sweet potato dish, my brothers were looking at me like I didn't have a clue as to what I was doing.  And I admit, at one point it looked like I was making a big pile of Sweet Potato Poo.  A few tears were shed during the day, but all in all, it was a wonderful day filled with laughter and new great memories being made.  We are learning how to be a family without our mom being there.  But I think what we are really learning, is the sense of family that has always been instilled in us all of our lives. We have always been a close family, but in our own way.  Now, we lean on each other for extra support, we are there for our dad to remind him that he is not alone and we will not let him be alone.  I think my mom would have been proud of how we got through the day.  I know I went home feeling a little better about things and felt like I was finally starting to heal a little bit.  Next month we have Christmas and that may be a little difficult too.  Each "first" without my mom is a learning experience and a walk in uncharted waters.  We will deal with each day as it comes, and I know there will still be some really difficult days ahead.  But I know I have my family, my husband, my kids and my friends to help me through.  And I have my mom, because I still talk to her everyday and I know in her own way, she will answer me back.  So, I know it is cliche, but this Thanksgiving, I truly am thankful for my family as our healing begins.

This is what I am thankful for (plus my 4 kids, and my other niece and nephew
that couldn't make it for Thanksgiving).