Another Gardening Year

A new season has begun and with that comes a new Season of gardening.  So happy to have my feet and hands in the dirt again.  Trying to grow many things from seed this year, which I started in February.  Now that I am home full time, I have more time to give to my gardening and sustainable living endeavors.  So, I must learn how to make the best use of my time. 
We have also started maintaining our own fields and those that we rent for the planting of corn and/or soybeans so we have invested in a few new pieces of farming equipment to help with that.  Robby is having a great time learning about this part of farming and is quite happy with his "new to us" purchases from auctions.
I will try and keep up with posting new photos of the gardens as they are growing and new things go in.  It is helpful for me to go back and look at over the years to compare.
I am also starting a new on-line workshop through Heather Bruggeman, at beauty that moves, called Whole Food Kitchen.  It will highlight many of the practices I already incorporate into our daily lives plus teach me many new things and ways to make the best use of the produce I will be growing this summer as well as our fresh meat and milk that we have.  So looking forward to that starting tomorrow!!!!

Peas just starting to come up.

Peas growing bigger.

Asparagus just starting to break through.

Few days later and they just keep coming and growing.

Now we harvest daily and incorporate into at least one meal a day.

Lettuces in lettuce box sprouting.

Now their true colors are showing.

Kale beginning to grow.

Georgia Sweet Onions planted.

Tomato plants grown from seed getting a little real sunshine.

French Breakfast Radishes starting to grow.

Me in my element with a garden of dirt waiting to be planted.

New toys to make life easier in the fields.

A "new to us" disk.

And a "new to us" cultipacker.

Time for Happy Hour while we watch chicken litter being spread on the fields.  Life in the country at it's finest, hahahaha.

I'm Trying

Faith is not something I have always had.  I mean, I guess I have had it, but I never really felt it.  So, I guess that means I didn't really have it.  It's funny how when you lose someone you are so very, very close to, like the two people who created you and brought you into this world, you start to feel like you have to have faith, you have to believe.  You have to believe that there is something greater that their souls go to when they leave this world.  That their bodies don't just rot in the ground or in a coffin and that is the end.  I can't believe that, I won't believe that.  What is the point to our lives if that is all there is in the end?

There have been few times when I have really felt like I needed to have something bigger to hold on to.  When I had to believe or I could simply not carry on.  I begged for there to be more and for a second chance once when I was looking death in the face and I have begged for there to be more when my mom died.  Now that my dad has died also, I have decided that simply begging isn't enough.  I have to believe.  I have to commit.  I have to not doubt that which I cannot see.  How can I expect there to be more when I won't commit to believing that there is?  And more importantly, what do I have to lose?  If there isn't more, then i will never know the difference.  But if there is more, oh my goodness, why would I want to miss out on that simply because I wouldn't believe?

It will be a process, it will be a time of learning and questioning.  It will be a journey but one I am willing to take.  I am so blessed to have people in my life willing to teach me, to walk beside me and help me.  There is something bigger.  I have to believe it, I have to live it, I have to let it into my heart.  If I ever want to stop not allowing myself to see the joy in the Holidays and the birthdays that come along, the Mother's Days and the Father's Days that I no longer can celebrate, the anniversaries, the start of the new Seasons, then I have to believe that there is something MORE!!!  That God IS. That my mom and dad are exactly where they BELIEVED they would be when their spirits left this world.  That they are together again, maybe not as husband and wife, but as something even more amazing and wonderful.  That I will see them again.  So this Advent Season, I am beginning my journey.  I may stumble along the way, I may have my doubts, but I will stick with it and I will find  my way.  It may not be by this January, when dad and mom would have both celebrated their birthdays, it may not be by April, when they would have celebrated another year of marriage, but it will happen.

Thankful for........

Thankful For:

My husband, my kids

My brothers, their families.

My friends, their families.

My health, my home.

My simple life.

My pets.

My God

My childhood.

My gifts and talents.

My desire to try new things.

My willingness to live and let live.

My ability to let go.

This Thanksgiving is a tough one.  Robby and I are by ourselves and he is sick.

The past two Thanksgivings were so wonderful, spending it with my 

brothers, their families and my dad, that it makes this one 

so much more difficult.

Every year it seems the Holidays are a little less Holiday-ish than they

use to be.  

I guess this just happens as life goes on.

But, in spite of it all,

I have so many blessings in my life.

And since my mantra is now, 

Choose Happiness,

I will be happy today for the things I have,

the things I am thankful for.

This will be enough,

as it is much more than many people have.

I miss my mom and dad,

I miss talking to them 

and 

especially on the Holidays.

But I am thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving and remember to find something to be thankful for.

My New Year's Mantra

Today makes 2 months since daddy passed on.

Today, I came up with 2015's Mantra:

I CHOOSE HAPPINESS

This will be the last mantra I ever set for a New Year and I am starting it now.

There never needs to be another one.

This one covers it all.

With Happiness in my heart,

fear, sadness, anger, grief and guilt

have no room.

Happiness in my heart only makes room for 

LOVE.

Today was an awakening.

Nothing out of the ordinary,

just an understanding that came over me.

Another dream a few nights ago,

telling me again that they are okay,

and to please LIVE.

Live with Happiness.

Life is for the Living.

I spent some time outside today.

It was rainy, cloudy, dreary by anyone's standards.

But I sat down and the chickens came over to me,

my dog laid down next to me,

the birds darted and chirped around me.

All of the simple beauty of my life became so clear to me.

I couldn't help but smile and laugh.

I took this photo with my Ipod

and when I looked at it,

I saw it.

Pure Happiness.

Yes, life is good.

Life is for the living.

I am ALIVE.

And so, 

though I will never stop missing you both

and wishing you were physically with me.

I will move forward and live my life

the way you loved to see me live it.

Full of laughter, love, little adventures

and crazy ideas.

And I will know you are there,

watching, rolling your eyes, smiling and laughing.

Today and for now on

I CHOOSE HAPPINESS!

Ramblings of an Unsettled Mind

I don't know what this post is going to be about.  I just feel the need to post something.  I am bursting.  Bursting with emotions, feelings, joy, desires, goals, wants, needs, ideas, dreams.

24 hours in a day and a good 8 of them being spent in darkness so that we can sleep and re-charge our body and soul is simply not enough.  Not enough for me to spend the amount of time that I have to spend at my job, the amount of time I want to spend on my art, the amount of time I want to spend in my veggie gardens, the amount of time I want to spend in my flower beds, the amount of time I want to spend making delicious homemade foods of all varieties and not enough time to spend being a loving and giving person to those I love the most.

There are so many things that are filling my tank right now and I am overflowing and don't seem to have an emergency tank to fill with the overflow.  I am so high on life right now and it is a feeling I have not had for so long, that I am not quite sure how to manage it.  I feel as if at some point it is all going to come crashing down around me if I don't get a grasp on all that I have going on.  I am famous for getting myself into too much and then not being able to control the situation any more and let it all crumble around me.  I don't want that to happen anymore.  I want to rein in this energy and get it under control so that I can retain some control.  I feel as if I am moving at warped speed and I am going to crash head first into a cement wall if I don't watch my step.

I haven't felt this alive and filled with energy in such a long time.  Life is great but it can become stagnant and everyday is routine and the in and outs of my day can feel as if I am on auto-pilot and have no real control.  I am surrounded by so much beauty and simple pleasures, I really want to just take the time to enjoy it all.  I feel like I have been given a specified amount of time to enjoy this freedom and I am just trying to squeeze every bit of life, freedom and carefree living out of it that I can.  For I know, the shoe will drop at some point and this all will come spiraling down and I will start again from ground zero, yet one more time.

But in the mean time, I am going to keep hoping for more than 24 hours in a day and live life to the fullest, finding the beauty in the simplicity of it all.

A Weekend In Pictures

This weekend was so much fun.  Time spent with my sweetie, time spent with amazing women and the bonus of our first snow fall.  A perfect weekend by any one's standards.  The best way to explain it is to just show the photos.

Dinner on Saturday night was a birthday celebration for my dear friend Harrigan.  She turned 31 earlier in the week and to celebrate, we had a pasta making dinner and clothes swap.  For those of you unfamiliar with the clothes swap idea, it is basically getting to go thrift store shopping for free in your home.  Friends bring clothes, baby items and housewares that they no longer want or need and then you can swap and take what you want.  Even if you have nothing to add to the swap, you still get to go through everything and take what you like.  For this Thrift Store loving gal, it is a dream come true.  All the joy of thrift shopping without having to pay any money, cooking and eating with friends, drinking wine and cappuccinos and eating dessert and the fellowship of about 25 fabulous women.  What could be better?  I don't know, but would love to hear if any of you know of something better.

Menu for the night.

Freshly made balls of pasta dough.

 

Rolling the pasta dough through the pasta maker the final time.

 

If there is one thing this group of women can do, it is eat.  We made plenty of pasta so no one would leave hungry.

 

Homemade sauce with garden tomatoes, garlic, onion and olive oil.

What more could you need?

 

Harrigan putting the finishing touches on the dessert......

Pumpkin Spice Cake with Burnt Salted Caramel Crèam Cheese Frosting.

 

Dessert and wine

 

Dinner......

Homemade Fettuccine with tomato garlic sauce, Kale and brussel sprout salad with pepitas and cranberries and cabbage.

 

We should all open a restaurant together and take turns cooking and talking in the kitchen.

What a wonderful group of women.

 

 

After a perfect night, I woke this morning to the glorious site of freshly fallen snow.  Oh how I do love snow!!!!!  It brings out the kid in me.  Couldn't help but go out and get some photos of the magical beauty that is the snow.  Enjoy.