It is Sunday night, 5 days after your 82nd birthday. I am sure it was quite the celebration for you and I imagined all day on Tuesday how you, your mom and dad, Uncle Danny, Uncle Pete and Aunt Janie must be spending the day. I sang you Happy Birthday and you were kind enough to give me a snow day to stay home and celebrate your day. Had you been alive and here with me, I know we would have spent it in the snow building snowmen and using my hats and scarves to dress them with. Then you would have insisted on us making Snow Cream to eat with a Fresh Coconut Cake I would have baked for you. We would have eaten that early in the day of course so that we could make huge banana splits together to eat in the evening. Remember how I would come home to Richmond for your birthday and would stop somewhere first and buy a Banana Split to bring home to you and one for me and Butter Pecan ice cream for dad? You didn't care if you got a present, just as long as we could have our ice cream together. I looked forward to your birthdays for that reason almost as much as I look forward to my own birthday, hahahaha. So I guess my question for you is, do they have banana splits in heaven and if so, are they as good as they are here on earth?
Yesterday, Robby and I went home to spend the day with dad. We went out to the cemetery to spend some time with you but it was sooooo cold. There was still snow on the ground and the pond was partially frozen. But the ducks were still out on the pond and the fountain still ran. As you know, I always feel such peace when I am there to visit. How I wish I was able to come every week so that we could spend more time together. I always have so much to tell you, even though I have conversations with you everyday on my 84 mile commute to and from work. Somehow it just isn't the same talking to you in my car, all alone, as it is when I am sitting there at the cemetery where we said our last goodbyes. I am sure the people who pass me on 81 often wonder who on earth I am talking to, hahahaha.
Once we got back to the house, Bill came over and brought his girlfriend Teri over for us to meet. Jess, Joe and Olivia came over too. It was so nice to see Bill so happy and Teri is a really wonderful girl. She was so easy to talk to and is very down to earth. You would have liked her very much, of that I am certain. It was so great to see Jess and Joe. They are such a cute couple and Olivia is just the sweetest little bundle of love. You know me and babies, I had to have my hands on her the whole time they were visiting. Even when she was crying, I didn't want to hand her back over to Jess, I just wanted to find the way to soothe her and make her happy. She loves to stand up and hold onto your fingers and dance. And let me tell you, she is quite the little dancer for a 6 month old. It is so great to have a baby around again. Brings back such wonderful memories of Garrett, Reed, Evan and Trevor. Daddy loves that little cutie pie too, very much. It is so cute to see him hold her and talk to her. I know he never thought he would see the day that he would become a Great Papa.
Leaving dad to come back home is never easy. I hate leaving him in that house alone with nothing but memories. But you would be so proud of how well he is doing. He stays busy in his playhouse and just finished his 16th clock. He has no idea who he will be giving this one to, but he made it anyway. As nervous as it makes me thinking of him in that playhouse alone with power tools, electric saws and his other "toys", I know it is his therapy and it is what gets him through each and every day. I believe that you watch over him when he is in there and protect him from harm.
As for me, I have come a long way from where I was this time 2 years ago. I don't miss you any less, if anything I miss you more. But I have been able to heal some and know in my heart you are in a better place. I feel your presence when I need you the most and know that you are right there with me. I know you have been watching over my boys and see the wonderful things they are doing in their lives. I know you know that I am in a loving place in my life and am the happiest and most at peace with myself and my life as I have ever been. Each and everyday seems to bring me a little more peace than the day before. I don't know what exactly to attribute this overwhelming sense of calm and contentment too, but I am so grateful for it. Good things keep coming to me and an inner strength I have never known before has taken up home in my soul. Burdens and guilt I have carried with me for years have been lifted. Life is good!!
Well, I guess that is all I have to say for now. I love you so and wish so much that I could call you on the phone like I always did on Sundays. It doesn't seem fair that I get to talk to you whenever I want, but I never get to hear you talk back. Funny how that is, right? There were so many times when I was younger that I would have given anything not hear you talk back when I was talking to you, or screaming at you, or crying at you. Now I would give anything and everything just to hear one more word come from your mouth.
Happy Birthday, my dear sweet momma. I love you with every fiber of my being.
Your loving daughter,
Doodle Bug
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